Mistress Matisse, Seattle sex columnist and professional dominatrix talks about BDSM, polyamory, sex work, and her life as a sexual outlaw. Adults only!
I wasn’t going to upload this last podcast. But Monk says I’m being silly. And lord knows, I need the blog-content, I've been way too busy to write much lately.
So, I am ignoring a voice in the back of my head that says it’s slightly undignified. Unladylike, in fact.
Yes, I know – I don’t feel the slightest qualm about posting photos of myself sticking needles in people. That's perfectly dignified. It's <span style="font-style: italic;">kinky,</span> but it's not undignified.
But I do feel that it is slightly undignified to post slightly-tipsy rants about one of my pet topics: Crazy People And Sex Work.
Just to be clear – thank you, President Obama – I am not disclaiming the basic opinions I express here. I just wish I had voiced them a trifle less profanely and a trifle less… stridently. Whoops.
There's also a whole side conversation about fisting, in which I make an ill-advised personal disclosure.
Thus, I bring to a close the era of cocktails while podcasting. Enjoy us in all our ranty glory, the next round will be far more calm, sober and public-radio-esque. (Well, I will be, at least. I cannot speak for Monk.)
I wasn’t going to upload this last podcast. But Monk says I’m being silly. And lord knows, I need the blog-content, I've been way too busy to write much lately.
So, I am ignoring a voice in the back of my head that says it’s slightly undignified. Unladylike, in fact.
Yes, I know – I don’t feel the slightest qualm about posting photos of myself sticking needles in people. That's perfectly dignified. It's <span style="font-style: italic;">kinky,</span> but it's not undignified.
But I do feel that it is slightly undignified to post slightly-tipsy rants about one of my pet topics: Crazy People And Sex Work.
Just to be clear – thank you, President Obama – I am not disclaiming the basic opinions I express here. I just wish I had voiced them a trifle less profanely and a trifle less… stridently. Whoops.
There's also a whole side conversation about fisting, in which I make an ill-advised personal disclosure.
Thus, I bring to a close the era of cocktails while podcasting. Enjoy us in all our ranty glory, the next round will be far more calm, sober and public-radio-esque. (Well, I will be, at least. I cannot speak for Monk.)
First letter: when to disclose to a potential new partner that you are poly, if they don’t know already. And then: dealing with weirdness from your partner’s other partners. (AKA “metamours”.)
In this podcast, we do a lot of silly banter about needles
and being naked in bed, and then Monk reads a letter about how to do fast, easy
rope bondage during a resistance play scene, and I make some comments about
securing someone who is larger than you. After that, I verbally slap around someone who wants me to do their kinky thinking for them. About 16 minutes.
Questions about Polyamory: Time-management for poly people: how many
partners is too many? And the difficulty of finding polyamorous partners when you're young. (Meaning: in your twenties.)
After way too long of an
interval - blame it on our busy schedules - Monk and I got together in
the zombie-proof sound studio and recorded some silly rants.
This one is a little short, only about seven minutes. It's a letter from a
reader who asks about sustaining BDSM energy in a long-term
relationship. Enjoy!
In this one, Monk and I read letters about
polyamory. First we talk about the not-so-good idea of comparing your
partners. "Why can't Partner B be more like Partner A." Then Monk talks
a little about his wife Tambo - and explains why he hardly ever talks
about her. (Hint: She is Keyser Soze.)
In this podcast, first we read a letter about safewords, and make mention of my two favorite safewords: vomit and lawsuit. I promise, those two words will capture any top's attention, anytime.
We also talk about the challenges of doing BDSM with a partner who is hearing-impaired. I make a verbal slip at one point that I must correct: I mistakenly say, "They can hear ME," which is not what I meant. I meant: a hearing-impaired person can talk, and I can hear THEM. Whoops.
In this podcast, we read some follow-up letters about kinky relationships, and then Monk rants
about the joys of creating a business selling kinky products.
In this podcast, Monk and I talk about the very sticky issue
of dealing with parents who get nosy about their adult-children's sex
life. Or: What To Do When Your Parents Find Out You're Kinky - And They
Aren't Happy.
In this podcast, Monk and I talk
about hierarchy in poly relationships. What does primary mean? What does
secondary mean? Do you need these terms? Are they useful or limiting?
So if you get off on that kind of analysis, you'll loooooove this podcast. It's heavy polyamory theory.
Monk and I answer letters about male rope tops getting overwhelmed by girls who want to ride the bondage-go-round, and then talk about a letter from a woman who says she wants to hire a male escort.
A new podcast, in which Monk and I talk about "name-dropping" versus
giving references, and then we say things that will make furries
everywhere hate us. (Adult babies, too.) It's a testament to power of
good marketing. Or not.
Monk and I offer yet another take on the eternal question: how do you reconcile different sexual tastes in a marriage? A woman writes in to ask about her husband's kinky desires and her own not-so-kinky styles.
Then, an aspiring professional dominatrix asks about integrating her professional persona into the BDSM community. Is there prejudice?
Monk and I speculate about Jews and kink, and then
Monk explains the story of how he got into kink and became a
rope-maker. Also briefly mentioned is my ability to shoot laser beams
from my eyes. Enjoy!
A rare podcast that might, actually, be sort of worksafe. Monk and Matisse talk about fashion, and what we wear, and what we think that means. How do people perceive you based on what you wear? How do you play with your image? Monk also makes a controversial statement about men in kilts, and I respond with some remarks about schoolgirl outfits and kimonos.
Monk and I discuss recent sex work busts here in Seattle. (December, actually, but hey, we're not CNN here.) We comment on how a sex work business we'd noticed was shut down, and talk about how and why it triggered our "ho-dar". I then explain "The Three C's".
Monk and I read some letters, riff about kink words we hate (like, subbie) and then talk about switching, and how women can get fucked while staying in the dominant role. We use the word "fuck" a lot, although Monk talks dirty in romance novel-speak, as well. (This podcast inspired a column for next week's Stranger, too.)
Monk does a crazy
30-second riff on what a porn movie would sound like on radio. (You’ll just
have to listen to it.)
And then we read a letter from a reader who asks “Since monogamy
is not an option, how do you make your primary partner feel special in a polyamorous relationship?”
We read a letter from a woman who asks, "What qualifies someone as kinky?" Then Monk and I address that, and then kid about how East Coast people think too much.
Next letter: a man asks me about seeing pro dommes, and Monk and I talk about a kink scene as compared to cooking. Monk talks about his own experiences as a professional dominant.
Monk and I riff about The Venture Brothers, and then answer
a reader's letter about dominance/sadism vs. masochism/submission. What do
those words mean? Aligning your tastes with your partners… Then we give some
sources of "educational porn", and answer a reader who asks: my lover
liked kinky sex with her ex, but not with me – what to do?
Max and Puck join Monk and I for a chat. Max talks about his beginnings as a BDSM person, and how he came to be a rope bondage top and bondage instructor. About 20 minutes.
There's a lot of ranting in this podcast. Monk and I read a letter and then I go off into my "JFGI" rant. Then, Monk talks about being a new male top and a BDSM vendor.
A complex question from a reader about harnessing the endorphins often released during physically intense BDSM - can they be used to manage pain from a medical issue?
Another first-recording-session, so still a bit raw. But a fun discussion about boobs, and then I tell a story about the first time I ever I purposely took control in a sexual encounter with a guy.
This is a clip from the first recording session I ever did, so it's a bit raw. But I think it's fun. Monk of TwistedMonk.com joins me for questions from my blog readers about my partner Max, and a discussion of polyamory etiquette. Plus there's some dirty talk and general silliness. Adults only!
First letter: when to disclose to a potential new partner that you are poly, if they don’t know already. And then: dealing with weirdness from your partner’s other partners. (AKA “metamours”.)
In this podcast, we do a lot of silly banter about needles
and being naked in bed, and then Monk reads a letter about how to do fast, easy
rope bondage during a resistance play scene, and I make some comments about
securing someone who is larger than you. After that, I verbally slap around someone who wants me to do their kinky thinking for them. About 16 minutes.
Questions about Polyamory: Time-management for poly people: how many
partners is too many? And the difficulty of finding polyamorous partners when you're young. (Meaning: in your twenties.)
After way too long of an
interval - blame it on our busy schedules - Monk and I got together in
the zombie-proof sound studio and recorded some silly rants.
This one is a little short, only about seven minutes. It's a letter from a
reader who asks about sustaining BDSM energy in a long-term
relationship. Enjoy!
In this one, Monk and I read letters about
polyamory. First we talk about the not-so-good idea of comparing your
partners. "Why can't Partner B be more like Partner A." Then Monk talks
a little about his wife Tambo - and explains why he hardly ever talks
about her. (Hint: She is Keyser Soze.)
In this podcast, first we read a letter about safewords, and make mention of my two favorite safewords: vomit and lawsuit. I promise, those two words will capture any top's attention, anytime.
We also talk about the challenges of doing BDSM with a partner who is hearing-impaired. I make a verbal slip at one point that I must correct: I mistakenly say, "They can hear ME," which is not what I meant. I meant: a hearing-impaired person can talk, and I can hear THEM. Whoops.
In this podcast, we read some follow-up letters about kinky relationships, and then Monk rants
about the joys of creating a business selling kinky products.
In this podcast, Monk and I talk about the very sticky issue
of dealing with parents who get nosy about their adult-children's sex
life. Or: What To Do When Your Parents Find Out You're Kinky - And They
Aren't Happy.
In this podcast, Monk and I talk
about hierarchy in poly relationships. What does primary mean? What does
secondary mean? Do you need these terms? Are they useful or limiting?
So if you get off on that kind of analysis, you'll loooooove this podcast. It's heavy polyamory theory.
Monk and I answer letters about male rope tops getting overwhelmed by girls who want to ride the bondage-go-round, and then talk about a letter from a woman who says she wants to hire a male escort.
A new podcast, in which Monk and I talk about "name-dropping" versus
giving references, and then we say things that will make furries
everywhere hate us. (Adult babies, too.) It's a testament to power of
good marketing. Or not.
Monk and I offer yet another take on the eternal question: how do you reconcile different sexual tastes in a marriage? A woman writes in to ask about her husband's kinky desires and her own not-so-kinky styles.
Then, an aspiring professional dominatrix asks about integrating her professional persona into the BDSM community. Is there prejudice?
Monk and I speculate about Jews and kink, and then
Monk explains the story of how he got into kink and became a
rope-maker. Also briefly mentioned is my ability to shoot laser beams
from my eyes. Enjoy!
A rare podcast that might, actually, be sort of worksafe. Monk and Matisse talk about fashion, and what we wear, and what we think that means. How do people perceive you based on what you wear? How do you play with your image? Monk also makes a controversial statement about men in kilts, and I respond with some remarks about schoolgirl outfits and kimonos.
Monk and I discuss recent sex work busts here in Seattle. (December, actually, but hey, we're not CNN here.) We comment on how a sex work business we'd noticed was shut down, and talk about how and why it triggered our "ho-dar". I then explain "The Three C's".
Monk and I read some letters, riff about kink words we hate (like, subbie) and then talk about switching, and how women can get fucked while staying in the dominant role. We use the word "fuck" a lot, although Monk talks dirty in romance novel-speak, as well. (This podcast inspired a column for next week's Stranger, too.)
Monk does a crazy
30-second riff on what a porn movie would sound like on radio. (You’ll just
have to listen to it.)
And then we read a letter from a reader who asks “Since monogamy
is not an option, how do you make your primary partner feel special in a polyamorous relationship?”
We read a letter from a woman who asks, "What qualifies someone as kinky?" Then Monk and I address that, and then kid about how East Coast people think too much.
Next letter: a man asks me about seeing pro dommes, and Monk and I talk about a kink scene as compared to cooking. Monk talks about his own experiences as a professional dominant.
Monk and I riff about The Venture Brothers, and then answer
a reader's letter about dominance/sadism vs. masochism/submission. What do
those words mean? Aligning your tastes with your partners… Then we give some
sources of "educational porn", and answer a reader who asks: my lover
liked kinky sex with her ex, but not with me – what to do?
Max and Puck join Monk and I for a chat. Max talks about his beginnings as a BDSM person, and how he came to be a rope bondage top and bondage instructor. About 20 minutes.
There's a lot of ranting in this podcast. Monk and I read a letter and then I go off into my "JFGI" rant. Then, Monk talks about being a new male top and a BDSM vendor.
A complex question from a reader about harnessing the endorphins often released during physically intense BDSM - can they be used to manage pain from a medical issue?
Another first-recording-session, so still a bit raw. But a fun discussion about boobs, and then I tell a story about the first time I ever I purposely took control in a sexual encounter with a guy.
This is a clip from the first recording session I ever did, so it's a bit raw. But I think it's fun. Monk of TwistedMonk.com joins me for questions from my blog readers about my partner Max, and a discussion of polyamory etiquette. Plus there's some dirty talk and general silliness. Adults only!
I wasn’t going to upload this last podcast. But Monk says I’m being silly. And lord knows, I need the blog-content, I've been way too busy to write much lately.
Matisse and Monk talk about starting new polyamorous relationships: how much information about new lovers do you share with your existing lovers?
